The following is a guest blog from my friend Jon-Paul Rippetoe. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

There are few television shows that I actually make a point to watch. Please don’t think that I am one of those who “don’t watch TV,” I have a deplorable lack of self-control that prevents that. One of the shows that I do enjoy, however, is the Big Bang Theory. Being a “feeling” and spiritual person, I find looking at the world through the analytical and scientific mind to be fascinating – and the show is just darn funny. During one of the episodes, one character was pleading with Sheldon, the main character, to go outside, to which Sheldon responded, “If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?” From my point of view, the why is an easy thing to answer; inside, our homes, apartments, or townhomes, whatever that may look like, is a place where we can rest, relax and recharge our souls.

A number of years ago, my life went through what could best be described as a “control, alt, delete.” A marriage ended, an extreme career shift happened and I found myself, for the first time in my life, looking for a place to live that would be all my own. Looking for a home is a very different experience when the final decision rests on your shoulders alone. When I started my search, I was living in the large townhouse I had owned with my ex. The space had become a mausoleum of what didn’t work in my life; it pulled my energy down to the point that I contracted, spending all my time while at home in one bedroom; the rest of the house was empty and devoid of life. I finally found a great one bedroom, one bath condo near shopping (feeding one of my addictions – Target) and friends. Moving day was glorious, as was the process that I went through over the following few months – decorating my space.

One aspect of the relationship that I had come from was my subjugating who I was in an effort to maintain peace in our shared home. The truth be told, it wasn’t just that relationship, but all of them up to that point. As I engaged in the act of decorating, I felt my soul and personality expanding as quickly as my taste did. In the end, I had an apartment that looked like a show room, was comfortable for guests, my two dogs and me and, most importantly, reflected who I was. It was a space into which I could retreat at the end of a stressful day at work and feel my soul refilling with power and peace.

While each of us ought to have homes that are our refueling stations, what that looks like for each person is as different as snowflakes. Here is a quick exercise that you can employ to help you set the vision for your personal fortress of solitude. The only things needed for this exercise are a journal or note pad, pen and some uninterrupted quite time. Once you are ready, take a few deep breaths in and out as you attempt to quite your mind. As you do, allow your mind to settle. For those who have meditated before, this should be fairly simple, for those who have not, it is important that you release yourself from any expectations. Your mind will wander. It will talk with you and interrupt you. This is all part of the game, when it happens do not judge yourself; simply take note of it and work to bring your mind back to a place of quite. Once you have found that quite space in your mind, envision the door to your new space. This space can be your entire home or just a room in your home. Walk up to the door, open it, and enter. This space is your ideal. Everything in it is perfectly suited to who you are and your taste. It is a space that is safe, peaceful, filled with love and healing energy. Spend as much time as you can in this space paying attention to every detail. Notice the colors on the walls and fabrics. Notice the flooring, the placement and styles of the furniture. Notice every detail, down to the artwork, books, and nick-knacks on the tables and shelves. As you walk through the space, allow the feeling to fill your whole body – the peace, the sense of safety. When you are done, take a few more deep breaths, exhaling aloud and connecting to the sound as you return to your reality. Spend as much time as you spent visualizing your ideal space making notes in your journal. If you can draw, then perhaps sketch out how it looked or write out in detail what you saw. This will be your reference going forward as you create your ideal and healing space; the space that will bring you balance and bliss in every aspect of your life.

When a marriage or relationship ends, for whatever reason, we are left feeling a bit adrift. The person we were tied to acted, in many ways, as an anchor for us. For many people, their sense of identity is lashed to the other person. For me, creating my ideal space was a vital component to the healing and learning that I experienced at the end of my marriage – and I am confident that it can play a key role in the healing for others in similar situations. It is part of the process of taking the helm of your life, your spirit, yourself.


Jon-Paul Rippetoe, the Alchemist Life Coach, is a blogger, writer, public speaker and the owner/co-founder of NRG Concepts ( Through his company, he takes a holistic approach to providing solutions for his clients, bringing balance and bliss into their personal experience. This is done through programs that include intuitive one-on-one coaching, creating community through small group life classes and assisting clients with the energy of their space through interior décor consultation, energy cleansing and clutter cleansing.

Remember that another great way to create a healing space for yourself is to divorce the bad habits that have kept you from living a life you love. Register for my program, Divorcing Your Bad Habits today!

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